Tag Archives: Marriage

Charles and Larry Discuss Sexual Sin, Jesus’ Compassion and Hell

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These CL Discussions are imagined conversations between a conservative Christian and a liberal person. The conservative’s name is Charles. The liberal’s name is Larry. These are not real conversations. They are imagined and the conservative views are mine, a fact you would have had no trouble discerning yourself. The opinions of the Liberal are typical of people I have met over the years, but don’t reflect any one person’s point of view. I am not claiming that these discussions are unbiased. I’m using them as a means of organizing my own thoughts as well as possibly helping others clarify their own point of view as well.

Charles and Larry have met for breakfast and have been discussing a wide range of topics when Larry changes the subject…

L: I agree with the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. And I think Jesus would have agreed. He was one to show compassion and not condemn people, don’t you think?

L: Think about the woman who was arrested while committing adultery. Jesus rebuked people for judging saying, “Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.”

C: When all of her accusers had left her, Jesus said, “I don’t condemn you either.”  This is just what you said. Somewhere else in the Bible Jesus said, “I have not come to condemn the world but to save it.” But Jesus said more than this to the woman. After he told her that he didn’t condemn her, he told her to go and don’t sin anymore.”

L: Yes, but he wasn’t condemning. And that’s the point. Christians today are so condemning. They’re no better than anyone else and yet they are often so condescending.

C: You’re right. Many of us are. But I think you’re missing an important point in what Jesus is saying. Jesus is not willing to let her go and continue in the life style she was engaged in. He called her adultery a sin. That’s different from the way modern people think. To most people today, adultery is not a sin. It’s a life style choice. But Jesus is telling her to stop. Jesus, the person who loves sinners the most does not want people to continue sinning because doing so will lead to eternal destruction.

L: First of all, I don’t believe adultery is a sin. I don’t really believe in sin as such unless you’re talking about abusing the most defenseless among us. That is sin. It is a sin to not pay people a fair wage and keep people in poverty. But whether someone has sex with someone he’s not married to is a personal matter and I certainly wouldn’t call it a sin. As long as both people are consenting and no one gets hurt, it can’t be a sin.

C: But Jesus thought so, didn’t he?

L: But Jesus lived at a different time. He was under different expectations from his culture.

C: Jesus went against the teachings of his Jewish culture all the time and he certainly went against the pagan culture of his time. And if Jesus was just acting out a part, and if he wasn’t giving actual true truth, then he must not have been God. Because I don’t think God would have played along with either the religious or the secular culture. God would tell it like it is.

L: Maybe so, but at least he had compassion on this woman and didn’t condemn her.

C: But I think you’re missing the point. He had compassion and so should we. But it is not compassion to let someone go without telling them that the path they are on is sinful. The path of sinning leads to eternal judgment in hell.

L: I don’t believe in hell and Jesus didn’t either.

C: Jesus said that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause is in danger of the judgment and whoever calls someone a fool is in danger of hell fire (Matt 5:22).

  1. I don’t believe Jesus said that. He was too loving to have said something like that.

C: It’s in the Bible.

D: But the Bible must not be right at that point. Jesus would not say that!

C: How should we know what Jesus actually said and what he didn’t? Just accept the parts we like and agree with? How are you going to know if any of it is true with that method?

D: No, but I just don’t believe Jesus would threaten someone with hell for calling someone a fool.

C: Jesus also said that if someone causes one of the young believers to stumble, it would be better for that man that a heavy stone be tied to him and be thrown into the sea rather than suffer what he was going to suffer. He went on to say that if your hand causes you to sin, it would be better to have it cut off than to go to hell where the fire is never quenched (Mark 9:42 and following).

C: So it doesn’t sound to me like your Jesus is compassionate in the same way you imagine. Jesus knows that sin is destructive. Sin will keep a person from God. God pleads with people saying, “Turn from your evil ways. Why will you die?” (Ezekiel 33:11).

C: That is true compassion. Someone who knows a course of action will lead a person to certain death and doesn’t do anything to warn them doesn’t love them very much.

Four Things Husbands Should Say Frequently

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I love you.

Remember when you were engaged or newly married?  “I love you” was a common thing to say. We were feeling the joy of a new relationship and looking forward to all of the possibilities that God would provide in life. Then life began to take on a routine. Children may be added to the home and there is lot of work to do. Life can become hectic and sometimes frustrating. Often when that happens, the feelings of love are replaced by the feelings of a busy life.

Part of keeping things new, fresh and alive is telling your wife that you love her. It’s not enough to say, “You too!” after she tells you she loves you. Look her in the eye and tell her you love her. Do it frequently, purposefully and honestly.

Thank You

Say “Thank you” to your wife frequently. After each meal tell her thank you. Thank her when she brings you your dessert. Thank her for making the house a home. Thank her for her impact on the kids. Thank her for all the housework she does. Thank her for a romantic evening. Thank her for her godly example, her outreach to neighbors and anything else you can think of.

I’m sorry.

Men are notoriously bad at saying “I’m sorry.” When you have hurt her feelings, come home later than you planned, forgotten to call when you said you would, and for many other things, don’t fail to say you’re sorry. If your failure was especially grievous or frequent, ask her what you need to do to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.”

What can I do to help?

It took me a long time to realize that my wife worked every bit as hard at her home responsibilities as I did at my job. For some reason, I felt that since I had put in a full day of work, I had the privilege of relaxing, reading or watching TV while she still had dishes to do or clothes to fold or children to care for through much of the evening. It finally dawned on me that we were in this as a team. If one of us wasn’t done, then we weren’t finished for the day yet.

So if you are sitting and relaxing watching your game or reading a book and your wife is busy with something, ask, “What can I do to help?” I often don’t like asking that question because there is enough work to do to keep both of us busy until bedtime. But it isn’t fair for one to have to work several more hours while the other is finished for the day. Learn to ask, “What can I do to help?”

These are four simple phrases to use frequently. If we learn to apply this principle, we will strengthen our marriages and glorify Christ by becoming the men God wants us to be.

Who Will be Our King?

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When I listen to and watch what is happening during this debate and legal challenge to the traditional definition of marriage, I’m reminded of what the Bible says regarding our basic problem as human beings. We are in fundamental rebellion against God and against His right to reign. Jesus told a parable in which He describes Himself as a nobleman who goes away to receive a kingdom and in the meantime places His estate in the hands of some servants. The citizens rebel saying, “We will not have this man reign over us” (Luke 19:14). That’s the problem in a nutshell. It’s not a matter of whose preference wins in some legal debate. It is a matter of submitting or not submitting to the Lord and Creator of the universe as the rightful ruler.

The writer of the Psalms describes this same thing in Psalm 2, “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against His Anointed, saying, ‘Let us break Their bonds in pieces and cast away Their cords from us'” (Psalm 2:2-3). We are in revolt. We will have our way! We will sever the bonds that tie us down and keep us from having the total freedom we want and believe we deserve.

What’s God’s response? “He who sits in the heavens shall laugh; The Lord shall hold them in derision. Then He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure” (Psalm 2:4-5). The passage goes on to explain that the God of the Universe has installed His Son as Lord and has given Him the nations as His inheritance. The earth is the Lord’s, not ours and He will govern it in any way He pleases and establish any laws and rules He chooses. Who can say to Him, “What are you doing?” (Job 9:12). Our responsibility is to find out what the King wants and do it.

What does the Psalm writer say is going to happen when God’s Son receives the nations as His inheritance?

“You shall break them with a rod of iron; You shall dash them to pieces like a potter’s vessel. Now therefore, be wise, O kings; Be instructed, you judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear, And rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, And you perish in the way, When His wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him” (Psalm 2:9-12).

Notice what the prudent course of action is for the kings and the judges of the earth. Submit to the King of the universe, the one who made the earth and everything and every person in it. But people scoff. They say these are archaic beliefs to be relegated to the past. It reminds me of something St. Peter wrote,

“…knowing this first: that scoffers will come in the last days, walking according to their own lusts, and saying, ‘Where is the promise of His coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of creation.’ For this they willfully forget: that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of water and in the water, by which the world that then existed perished, being flooded with water. But the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men” (2 Peter 3:3-7)

We cannot flagrantly violate God’s created order without paying the consequences– if not now, later. Peter tells us why there is a delay in the judgment, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

It’s time to repent!