“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.””
Earlier in chapter 5, Paul had been talking about walking in the Spirit and putting off the old and putting on the new. He then talked about the relationship between husband and wife. Now he begins to discuss principles for godly children.
Children are to obey their parents, for this is right. The King of the universe says that it is right for children to be obedient to their parents. He is talking about Christian families because he says “in the Lord.” God determines what is right and wrong. It’s not up to us to define right behavior. God does the defining. Obedience is right.
Next, children are told to honor father and mother. This is a quote from the ten commandments, Exodus 20:12. This commandment applies to adult children as well because Jesus derides the grown Pharisees for trying to find ways to squirm out of this commandment (Matt 15:4).
It’s important in God’s eyes that we show respect and honor toward our parents. They are the ones who sacrificed to bring us into the world and to care for us through all of our growing-up years. Even if your parents were not ideal, perhaps even abusive in some ways, honor is still due to them because God used them as vessels to bring you into existence. Therefore, they deserve honor.
God says this is the first commandment that has a promise associated with it. The promise is that it may go well, and that you may live long in the land. This promise is taken directly out of the ten commandments. I look at this as a principle promise. In other words, it does not apply specifically to every individual all the time. I say this because, for example, there may be a young man who honors his parents. Later on he joins the military and is killed in action. I don’t think this promise is saying you won’t be killed in action, or in a car accident.
I think what the promise is saying is that people who honor their parents are generally people who have the rest of their lives in order as well, and as such, their lifestyle is one that will typically produce a long life. I may be wrong and you can feel free to disagree. But that’s what I think when it comes to this command and the associated promise.