(The list of these strategies in chart form can be found here.)

Battle Strategy 12: I have someone with whom I can be brutally honest about my temptations and failures. This person helps keep me accountable.

It is important to have at least one friend with whom you can be honest about your temptations, failures and struggles. Two verses come to mind:

“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17, NKJV)

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (James 5:16, NKJV)

This person must be someone whom you can trust. You are not going to share much with someone who you think will be talking to others about what you share with him.

This person also must be someone who has the courage to ask you the tough questions. There are not many people like that. One thing that keeps people from asking tough questions is that they know they will be asked the tough questions back. Both parties in an accountability relationship must be able to answer the same questions. Most of us are trying to hide who we really are. We know we fail, and we do not like to let others know that we are not really what we seem to be on the surface.

It often takes time to develop a relationship like this. The relationship will likely start out at a superficial level. But as time progresses and as honest discussions take place, the relationship can deepen to the point of being helpful in the battle against sin in both people’s lives.

In Scripture we read:

“He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NKJV)

Covering sin is not wise or helpful. And so we must be able to share freely with another person in order to keep from covering our sin. On the other hand, it’s not necessary to be confessing our sins publicly in church gatherings, especially if those sins are not publicly known and are not against the church.

Sometimes people will get together with others who are having the same struggles and then confess to one another in that context. If no one in the group is having success at overcoming the particular sin they are dealing with, there is not much hope for improvement. It can turn into a time where everyone admits that there are no solutions, and so rather than seeing improvement and victory, there is a downward spiral that hurts everyone in the group.

What needs to take place is confession of sin with another person who is able to speak truth into your life in such a way so that there can be healing of the damage caused by the sinful behavior. Then the promise of James 5:16 can be realized – healing and help.

Priority Goal 12: I will identify and get together with a Christian friend so that the two of us can have an open and honest accountability relationship.