“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,” (Ephesians 5:25–26)
Last time we were talking about the fact that we husbands ought to be giving up ourselves to the task of helping our wife grow in her holiness.
What’s interesting to me is that if anyone in the home is interested in growth in holiness, it is more likely to be the wife. And yet, we are given the responsibility of nurturing our wife in spiritual things so that her growth in grace is evident to all.
The second half of verse 26 talks about Jesus cleansing His bride by the washing of water with the word. In John 15:3 Jesus says that the disciples are clean through the Word that was preached unto them. That is our responsibility as husbands.
As a Christian husband, I am the spiritual leader of my home. You are the leader of your home. It’s almost although we serve as pastors of our home. With that as our responsibility, what should we be doing? We should minister to our wives through the word.
What that means is to read, memorize, and meditate on the word so that it becomes an integral part of our life and personality. Then, we are to take the fruit of that word-saturated life and feed our wife with the spiritual truth that comes from it.
There are a couple of cautions I would mention. First, there is a tendency to wait until we think we have matured to the degree where we feel like we have something to offer. If you are newly married or just coming to grips with this teaching, don’t wait, but instead, begin immediately to spend time in the word and share with your wife what God is teaching you. You may stammer and stutter through it, but get started.
The second mistake, especially if your wife is more “spiritual” than you are, is to let her lead you. Yes, you can learn much from a wife who is well-versed in the Scripture, but even so, you need to share with her what God is teaching you. Don’t take a back row seat in this endeavor. Your pastor or another godly man in your life will be able to help you find the study materials, commentaries, and other sources that will help you in your spiritual growth.
The third mistake men fall into is the thought that they can become knowledgeable and mature in a week, and when it doesn’t work out that way, they become discouraged with the whole process. It takes time, but anything worth doing takes consistent efforts, one step at a time, one day at a time, to accomplish the goal.
When Paul talks about the role of women in the church, he writes that women should be silent. But here is the part I think is especially interesting. If a wife has a question that comes to mind during a church gathering, she should wait until she gets home and then ask her husband (1 Corinthians 14:35).
What does that mean, men? It means we need to be wide awake and alert when it comes to our spiritual growth and the teaching in our church, so that when our wife asks us these questions, we can answer them. If we don’t know the answer, we shouldn’t send them to the pastor to find out, we should go ourselves, learn the answer, and then go home and explain it to our wife. It is our responsibility to love our wife like Christ loved the church, sanctifying her and washing her with the Word of God.