“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”
A husband’s relationship to his wife is compared to Christ’s relationship to the church. And the husband is supposed to love his wife like Christ loves the church.
One of the purposes for the cleansing of the church discussed last time, is that Jesus might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, holy and blemish-free. The next verse begins with “In the same way husbands should love their wives.”
Jesus’ goal in cleansing His bride with the word was to make her holy, etc. In the same way, we husbands should be using the Word of God to help our wife grow in holiness. There are two reasons for this in my opinion.
First, holiness is something God seeks. Therefore, by helping our wife grow in holiness through our ministry of the Word to her, we are helping her to be more Christ-like, and therefore we are used of God for the sanctification of one of His children, namely, our wife.
But the second reason, I think, is more subtle. Jesus uses the Word to sanctify His wife so that He might present her to Himself without spot, etc. Could it be that one of the outcomes of our ministry to our wife through the Word is that we might present our wife to our self as a more beautiful, spiritual, godly person? Think what that would mean for our marriage, our relationship, and our testimony to both family and friends.
Because there is no such person as described here as holy and without blemish in actual living, an important truth to keep in mind is that we are made holy by the blood of Christ and declared to be so based on the fact that we believe the gospel. That means a key part of our responsibility to our wife, and our family as well, is to make sure they understand the gospel and are standing on that ground, the ground that says we are declared righteous and holy, based, not upon our performance, but on our faith in Christ.
We need to be sure we are standing on that ground and that our wife is standing there with us. The fears that women are often vulnerable to are often based on feelings. Faith in the gospel may produce feelings, but it is not grounded on feelings. We must know the facts of the truth of the gospel, believe that truth, and let the feelings do whatever they do. Helping our wife to understand that and to live there, is an important part of our ministry and gift to her.