“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” (Ephesians 5:28–30)

Following up on our thoughts last time, Paul says that husbands should love their wives the way Christ loves the church. We discussed that part of the verse earlier, making the point that our love of our wife should help her become more holy and blameless.

Verse 28 goes on to say, “He who loves his wife, loves himself. That’s kind of a strange way to express this, but it is an important statement. The Bible says that a husband and wife are one. Malachi 2 explains that the reason for that oneness is that God desires godly offspring. The purpose of uniting a man and a woman is not only for companionship, but also because God is looking for godly offspring. Not just offspring, but godly offspring. Further, Malachi explains that a divorce is a violent, bloody thing. Why? Because God has made them one. That’s why Jesus says, “what God has joined together, let not man separate,” Matthew 19:6. When God joins two things together, it is a strong joint. Separating tears at all aspects of the bond.

A husband and wife are not metaphorically one. They are, at least in God’s eyes, actually one. That leads us back to this verse. When a man loves his wife he loves himself. Your wife is one with you.

Verse 29 carries the theme with the obvious statement that no one ever hated his body, but loves it and takes care of it and nourishes it. We do nourish it, don’t we guys? Since we are one with our wife, loving our wife is equivalent with loving our self. Now, think about this: When we act in selfish or competitive ways toward our spouse, we are not living in the light of this truth. We are one. So if our wife gains in some way, we have gained in some way. Jealousy over some thing or honor she may have received is an indication that we really don’t believe in this oneness.

In the same way, Christ loves the Church because the Church is His body. We are one with Christ. Christ loves Himself in the right way and therefore He also loves us because we are part of His body.

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