I love you.
Remember when you were engaged or newly married? “I love you” was a common thing to say. We were feeling the joy of a new relationship and looking forward to all of the possibilities that God would provide in life. Then life began to take on a routine. Children may be added to the home and there is lot of work to do. Life can become hectic and sometimes frustrating. Often when that happens, the feelings of love are replaced by the feelings of a busy life.
Part of keeping things new, fresh and alive is telling your wife that you love her. It’s not enough to say, “You too!” after she tells you she loves you. Look her in the eye and tell her you love her. Do it frequently, purposefully and honestly.
Say “Thank you” to your wife frequently. After each meal tell her thank you. Thank her when she brings you your dessert. Thank her for making the house a home. Thank her for her impact on the kids. Thank her for all the housework she does. Thank her for a romantic evening. Thank her for her godly example, her outreach to neighbors and anything else you can think of.
Men are notoriously bad at saying “I’m sorry.” When you have hurt her feelings, come home later than you planned, forgotten to call when you said you would, and for many other things, don’t fail to say you’re sorry. If your failure was especially grievous or frequent, ask her what you need to do to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.”
What can I do to help?
It took me a long time to realize that my wife worked every bit as hard at her home responsibilities as I did at my job. For some reason, I felt that since I had put in a full day of work, I had the privilege of relaxing, reading or watching TV while she still had dishes to do or clothes to fold or children to care for through much of the evening. It finally dawned on me that we were in this as a team. If one of us wasn’t done, then we weren’t finished for the day yet.
So if you are sitting and relaxing watching your game or reading a book and your wife is busy with something, ask, “What can I do to help?” I often don’t like asking that question because there is enough work to do to keep both of us busy until bedtime. But it isn’t fair for one to have to work several more hours while the other is finished for the day. Learn to ask, “What can I do to help?”
These are four simple phrases to use frequently. If we learn to apply this principle, we will strengthen our marriages and glorify Christ by becoming the men God wants us to be.