“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

We’ve been discussing the role of wives in the home. Now, let’s turn our attention to the role of husbands. Paul is continuing his instruction on Christian relationships as a result of being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Husbands are to love their wives. The word for love here is the familiar word, agape, which is explained and defined for us in 1 Corinthians 13. This kind of love sacrifices for another. It does not take notice of faults against it. It is patient and kind. The descriptions could go on. Read and study 1 Corinthians 13 if you want to grasp what this kind of love is like.

The comparison that Paul is seeking to demonstrate here is the love of Jesus Christ toward His church. And what is the primary characteristic of Christ’s love for the church? He gave Himself up for her! He literally sacrificed Himself for the well-being of the church.

Now, some of us husbands will readily say that we would defend our wife from danger or take a bullet for her. But some of the more daily routine demonstrations of that same love are hard to come by. But we need to notice that our Lord’s giving Himself for the church is more than His death for her. His focus is on her spiritual growth and development. We’ll talk more about this next time.

For now focus on two things: First, our love for our wife should be agape love described for us in 1 Corinthians 13. Second, we should model our love for our wife after Christ’s example toward His church.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

This morning we begin to look at a passage that to some people is very controversial, and which is rejected by many. It involves the topic of submission.

From verse 21 we learned that Spirit-filled believers ought to submit to one another in the fear of God. Paul then goes on to give some examples of how submission should work in various contexts — husbands and wives, parents and children, employers and employees.

Verse 22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” The word submit means to subject myself to or subordinate myself to someone. In this case, the wife is to submit herself to her husband. It’s interesting to note here that it’s her own husband that it’s referring to, not someone else’s husband. That raises some interesting questions that we are not going to discuss much here. But here is one question: What if the wife’s employer has a different dress code from the husband? Something to think about.

Paul strengthens his teaching in this verse by saying that the wife should submit to her husband as she would to the Lord. How submissive should she be to the Lord? To that degree she should be subject to her own husband.

We’ll just take a step into the next verse to point out the grounding of this instruction. It is grounded in the fact that the husband is head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. Notice the strength of this statement. To what degree do we believe that Christ is the head of the church? To that same degree, the husband is the head of the wife.

Colossians 3:18 says the same thing about wives being subject to their husbands. In 1 Timothy 2:11, the apostle says that in the church, the women should learn in silence in all subjection, and he does not allow that a woman should teach or have authority over the man.

In 1 Corinthians 14 we have the same teaching. In fact, in this passage we are told that if women have a question about the teaching in the church, they should ask their husband at home.

Now, we Bible-believing Christians have a decision to make. Do we believe that the Bible is the authoritative word of God, and that it is the rule of our conduct in the home and in the church? Or do we believe that the Bible contains general guidance on living a good life, but we don’t have to get too carried away with the details? If we believe that it is authoritative, then we need to apply it to this arena as much as in any other.

One thing to remember is that submission has nothing to do with worth, intelligence, or talent. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, Paul writes that the head of Christ is God? Does this imply any less ability or knowledge or talent in Christ than there is in God? No. Christ is co-equal with God the Father. But, there is a hierarchy, for want of a better word, that exists even in the God-head. There is no conflict or jealousy or rebellion in the relationship between and among the members of the Trinity. It should be the same way in the home and in the church when it comes to husband and wife. In fact, in this same verse in 1 Corinthians 11 where it is said that the head of Christ is God, it says that the head of the woman is man. In the home there is the same co-equal value, worth, and importance in the wife as in the husband. But the roles and responsibilities are different. Even in normal secular organizations there has to be a hierarchy of responsibility and direction so that the organization can operate smoothly and orderly. Someone has to be able to make the final decision as to the direction of the organization, in this case, the home and family. And God has given that responsibility to the man.

Next time we will finish commenting on verses 23 and 24.

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:03 AM September 29, 2021.

“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians

Ephesians 5:21

Verse 21 is a continuation of the same sentence that began in verse 18, and follows after the filling of the Spirit, making melody in our hearts, and giving thanks always. This verse is going to lead us into a discussion of relationships between husband and wife beginning in verse 22.

Verse 21 says, “submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.” The Greek word for reverence is phobos from which we get our word “phobia,” fear.

A spirit-filled life results in a reverential fear of Christ the Messiah. We respect and love Christ because He is God, and because He gave Himself for us on the cross in order to redeem us.

So, in this passage, what does that fear of Christ produce in our lives? It causes us to submit to one another.

Submitting is not an easy thing for us. Human pride and our me-first attitude drive much of what we do and say. We want to do what we want. We want others to do what we want them to do, and we don’t like to take orders from anyone, especially someone who we perceive as not really having any authority over us.

As Christians, we are to esteem others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). This is extremely difficult, and then, when you bring it into the family, and especially husband-wife relationships, it can be a tough thing. However, this is exactly the kind of godly characteristic that the Spirit of God is desiring to work into our lives as we yield to Him and are controlled by Him in our daily walk.

Next time we’ll tackle verse 22 which begins to explain how submission should work in more particular ways.

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:53 AM September 24, 2021.

“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,”

Having told us to be filled with the Spirit and speak to one another in psalms and hymns, Paul adds an admonition about giving thanks.

A person who is filled with the Spirit will not only have a melody in his heart, but will have a thankful spirit. Notice in this verse that we should give thanks always and for everything.

We should be thankful people always. Now that is a difficult assignment! Not only are we to give thanks always, but we are to be thankful for everything.

We know we should be giving thanks in every circumstance, but for everything?

In Romans 8:28, God tells us that He is working all things together for our good. This tells me that no matter how difficult the circumstances, God is going to use it for good in my life. This, in turn, means that I should be able to give thanks for that situation since I know that it will produce a good result in me.

Now, I’m not saying this is easy. Of course it isn’t! But it is the kind of response that godliness requires.

I think the fact that we fail so often at this should remind us once again of the grace of God toward us in that God has forgiven all the sins of His people.

Our thanksgiving should be directed toward God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. When we are thankful to God, we are thankful in Jesus name. In other words we come to God with thanksgiving just as Jesus would. Our identity with Jesus is so complete that as we come to God, we come in the rights and authority that Jesus has. This is good news indeed because we know our thanksgiving will be received with joy by the Father.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.

Paul is taking us through the characteristics of the Christian walk — the way Christians should conduct themselves and the attitudes they should have. He is doing this having told us to put off the old and to put on the new. These verses we have been studying in chapter 5 are showing us how to do that.

The first thing we note in verse 11 is that we are to have no part in the unfruitful works of darkness. Having no part means not to have fellowship with. In 2 Corinthians 5:14, after having told the Corinthians not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, he asks some questions. All of these questions expect the answer, “None.”

He asks, “What partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? What fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial?” and What portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” The answer should be none. There is nothing in common.

He’s making that same point here in Ephesians. We should not have anything in common with the unfruitful works of darkness — period!

Unfruitful means that the works associated with the kingdom of darkness produce no lasting , edifying fruit. Everything that comes from that source is rotten, and Christians should not share in it.

Rather than having fellowship in it, these deeds should be reproved and exposed. The kind of things the lost of the world are involved in should be exposed for what they are. We should make sure young people and young Christians are aware of the dangers and damage that the deeds of darkness can do. The explanations should be clear enough so that people will know what we are talking about, yet vague enough not to incite destructive trails of thought in the minds of those we are trying to teach.

Verse 12 goes on to tell us that these deeds are so bad and so evil, that it is shameful even to speak of them. That is why we have to be careful how we describe the evil we are talking about.

I think there are a lot of applications of this. But, for one thing, there are many activities and behaviors displayed on TV and in movies that portray the unfruitful works of darkness. Most of the time these works are not presented for the purpose of exposing their source in the kingdom that is opposed to God. What is troubling is that many Christians are content to hear and see these things portrayed as entertainment. How does that fit with the fact that evil and immoral deeds are to be exposed and not even spoken about because it is shameful to do so?

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 2:48 PM May 26, 2021.

And try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. The word for discern here means test or examine. The Greek word is a word we get the verb document from. When you document something, you ascertain its authenticity. So I think what is being said here is that we should evaluate what we do and other potential behaviors or activities we might be involved in, and determine if those things would be pleasing to the Lord.

It’s true that we are not under law, but under grace. But even in human relationships, isn’t it true that we try to please those we love just because of that love, and not merely to be obedient to some law?

Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it is impossible to please God. Isn’t that a strong implication that our goal in life is to please him?

Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

From this passage we can clearly see that pleasing God is the aim, no matter what the rest of the culture may think about it.

Pleasing God is the result of having a relationship with God — being born again. Paul tells us in Romans 8:8 that those who are in the flesh, i.e. those who have not been born again, cannot please God. That means that no matter how many times they attend worship services, or pray, or give to the poor, they are not pleasing God.

So as we live our lives, let’s take time to consider our plans and our activities and document the fact that they are pleasing to God.

As Paul says in 1 Thess 5:21, “Test everything; hold fast what is good.” By the way, the word test there is the same word we had in Ephesians 5:10. Document it! Is it pleasing to God?

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:27 AM May 13, 2021.