Ephesians 5:23-24

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“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

Ephesians

Ephesians 5:23

We began to talk about the topic of submission of one to another in the Christian community last time. Paul focuses first on the relationship of husbands and wives. And, as we saw last time, wives are to be submissive to their own husbands.

Today we continue that thought into verses 23 and 24. In giving the rationale for this statement, the Bible tells us that the husband is the head of the wife just like Christ is the head of the church, his body.

We need to ask ourselves in what way Christ is the head of the church. He is the head because the church is His body. The Bible tells us that when they marry, a husband and wife become one flesh just as Christ and the church (verses 31 -32).

Because the picture between Christ and the church and a man and his wife are pictured as a body, what or who represents the head of the body? For the church, Jesus the Messiah is the head. In the husband wife relationship, the man is given the role of the head.

Now, as I mentioned last time, being head does not mean better, smarter, wiser, more talented, etc. We know it doesn’t involve intelligence or ability because the Bible says God is the head of Christ. And we know that they are coequal. But, yes, in the home, there needs to be discussion and mutual planning in marriage, but when the decision or course of action is to be made, someone has to provide the leadership and give the final ok. That person is the husband according to the Bible.

Verse 24 clarifies this even more. Paul writes, “As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Notice the word, everything. The church is to submit to Christ. Wives are supposed to submit to their husband.

In this current culture, that is a radical statement. There is an anti-patriarchal sentiment in our culture. As individual Christians we are going to have to decide where we stand on the authority of Scripture as it relates to all aspects of our lives, not just the areas that we choose.

Now, in case you are reading these ideas for the first time, be advised that this passage goes on to explain and command the responsibility of the husband. We will get into that next time, but note that God expects the husband to love his wife like Christ loves the church, and as He has given Himself for her, and as He has served her to increase her beauty and holiness. I would suggest to you that a wife who is treated this way by her husband will have no problem fitting into the role God has for her within that relationship.

Battle Strategy 12 – Accountability Partnership

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(The list of these strategies in chart form can be found here.)

Battle Strategy 12: I have someone with whom I can be brutally honest about my temptations and failures. This person helps keep me accountable.

It is important to have at least one friend with whom you can be honest about your temptations, failures and struggles. Two verses come to mind:

“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17, NKJV)

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (James 5:16, NKJV)

This person must be someone whom you can trust. You are not going to share much with someone who you think will be talking to others about what you share with him.

This person also must be someone who has the courage to ask you the tough questions. There are not many people like that. One thing that keeps people from asking tough questions is that they know they will be asked the tough questions back. Both parties in an accountability relationship must be able to answer the same questions. Most of us are trying to hide who we really are. We know we fail, and we do not like to let others know that we are not really what we seem to be on the surface.

It often takes time to develop a relationship like this. The relationship will likely start out at a superficial level. But as time progresses and as honest discussions take place, the relationship can deepen to the point of being helpful in the battle against sin in both people’s lives.

In Scripture we read:

“He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NKJV)

Covering sin is not wise or helpful. And so we must be able to share freely with another person in order to keep from covering our sin. On the other hand, it’s not necessary to be confessing our sins publicly in church gatherings, especially if those sins are not publicly known and are not against the church.

Sometimes people will get together with others who are having the same struggles and then confess to one another in that context. If no one in the group is having success at overcoming the particular sin they are dealing with, there is not much hope for improvement. It can turn into a time where everyone admits that there are no solutions, and so rather than seeing improvement and victory, there is a downward spiral that hurts everyone in the group.

What needs to take place is confession of sin with another person who is able to speak truth into your life in such a way so that there can be healing of the damage caused by the sinful behavior. Then the promise of James 5:16 can be realized – healing and help.

Priority Goal 12: I will identify and get together with a Christian friend so that the two of us can have an open and honest accountability relationship.

Battle Plan Strategy 11 – Focusing on the Grace of God

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Battle Strategy 11:  I am focused on the grace of God in Christ. There is no condemnation since I’m in Christ. God’s grace is teaching me to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts. I realize that focusing on the law will only increase sin’s power.

 It is God’s goodness that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). When we come to Christ in faith, we are justified so completely that all of our sins have been forgiven and removed by God. In place of those sins, Christ’s righteousness is applied to us. We stand completely justified and there is now no condemnation for them that are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Some people interpret this as an excuse to sin. However, God tells us that when His grace is present, it teaches us. If that teaching is not present then the grace is absent as well. Salvation is not just the forgiveness of sin, it is the active working of God in our lives such that teaching occurs. This grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and to live soberly, righteously and godly lives (Titus 2:12).

Sometimes in the commendable effort to squelch sinful tendencies, we reinsert the law. But the scripture clearly tells us that the law actually strengthens sin.

“The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law.” (1 Corinthians 15:56, NKJV)

“But sin, taking opportunity by the commandment, produced in me all manner of evil desire. For apart from the law sin was dead. I was alive once without the law, but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died. And the commandment, which was to bring life, I found to bring death. For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it killed me.” (Romans 7:8–11, NKJV)

We might conclude from this that the law itself is sinful. Paul’s argument in Romans 7 is that sin is the problem. The law is good. But the nature of law is to arouse sin and show us that it is there. Just think of what happens when you tell a child not to eat the fresh cookies that are cooling on the kitchen counter. You know what happens!

So what we are trying to say in this particular battle plan step is that we need to place more focus on the grace of God, what He has accomplished in Christ, and the fact that in Christ we have been released from the guilt and burden of sin. It might not feel like it, but it is important to know the facts, then believe the facts, and allow our feelings to follow along after.

Many people have that order reversed and rely on feelings for determining facts and truth. The order is this:

Facts first –>  Belief of the facts –> Allow the feelings to follow.

Don’t put feelings first!

Priority Goal 11: By faith I will believe and act upon the truth that I have been forgiven of every single sin I have committed or ever will commit because of Christ and His death on the cross in my place.

Ephesians 5:22-23

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“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

This morning we begin to look at a passage that to some people is very controversial, and which is rejected by many. It involves the topic of submission.

From verse 21 we learned that Spirit-filled believers ought to submit to one another in the fear of God. Paul then goes on to give some examples of how submission should work in various contexts — husbands and wives, parents and children, employers and employees.

Verse 22 says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” The word submit means to subject myself to or subordinate myself to someone. In this case, the wife is to submit herself to her husband. It’s interesting to note here that it’s her own husband that it’s referring to, not someone else’s husband. That raises some interesting questions that we are not going to discuss much here. But here is one question: What if the wife’s employer has a different dress code from the husband? Something to think about.

Paul strengthens his teaching in this verse by saying that the wife should submit to her husband as she would to the Lord. How submissive should she be to the Lord? To that degree she should be subject to her own husband.

We’ll just take a step into the next verse to point out the grounding of this instruction. It is grounded in the fact that the husband is head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church. Notice the strength of this statement. To what degree do we believe that Christ is the head of the church? To that same degree, the husband is the head of the wife.

Colossians 3:18 says the same thing about wives being subject to their husbands. In 1 Timothy 2:11, the apostle says that in the church, the women should learn in silence in all subjection, and he does not allow that a woman should teach or have authority over the man.

In 1 Corinthians 14 we have the same teaching. In fact, in this passage we are told that if women have a question about the teaching in the church, they should ask their husband at home.

Now, we Bible-believing Christians have a decision to make. Do we believe that the Bible is the authoritative word of God, and that it is the rule of our conduct in the home and in the church? Or do we believe that the Bible contains general guidance on living a good life, but we don’t have to get too carried away with the details? If we believe that it is authoritative, then we need to apply it to this arena as much as in any other.

One thing to remember is that submission has nothing to do with worth, intelligence, or talent. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, Paul writes that the head of Christ is God? Does this imply any less ability or knowledge or talent in Christ than there is in God? No. Christ is co-equal with God the Father. But, there is a hierarchy, for want of a better word, that exists even in the God-head. There is no conflict or jealousy or rebellion in the relationship between and among the members of the Trinity. It should be the same way in the home and in the church when it comes to husband and wife. In fact, in this same verse in 1 Corinthians 11 where it is said that the head of Christ is God, it says that the head of the woman is man. In the home there is the same co-equal value, worth, and importance in the wife as in the husband. But the roles and responsibilities are different. Even in normal secular organizations there has to be a hierarchy of responsibility and direction so that the organization can operate smoothly and orderly. Someone has to be able to make the final decision as to the direction of the organization, in this case, the home and family. And God has given that responsibility to the man.

Next time we will finish commenting on verses 23 and 24.

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:03 AM September 29, 2021.

Battle Plan Strategy 10 –Identity in Christ

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Strategy 10:  I realize that I died with Christ, and I am now a new creation. I am living and ordering my life as a resurrected person, not as the old person I used to be.

This is one of the most important strategies when attempting to win the fight against sin. We can make all sorts of resolutions and put into play all of the self-disciplines that we can muster, but real victory becomes possible when this truth is embraced and put into practice.

In Romans 6:2, Paul asks the question, “How shall we who died to sin, live any longer in it?” He then goes on to explain what he means by this. If you’ve been baptized into Christ – in other words, if you’ve been born again – you were baptized into Christ’s death. What this means is that when God saves us, He so thoroughly unites us with His Son that there is a oneness established that makes Christ’s history our history. For example in Ephesians 2 we read, “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,” (Ephesians 2:4–6, NKJV).

We see here that God raised us up with Christ and has even seated us with Him in heavenly places in Christ. So Jesus’ death is our death. His resurrection is our resurrection. His ascension is our ascension.

What does that mean, then, when it comes to the battle against sin? It means that just as Jesus, when He died, died to sin, so we also, when we died with Him, died to sin. Jesus didn’t sin before His death, but He was subject to all of the temptations that we go through. His death put an end to that. We are to reckon ourselves dead with Christ to sin and we are to see ourselves on the resurrection side of things. This is the way Paul puts it:

“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” (Romans 6:11–13, NKJV)

The key word here is reckon. We are to count it as true because God says it. We died to sin when we died with Christ, and we are to reckon on that being true as we face the many temptations of life. We’ve died and our life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

He finishes the section in Romans with the words, “For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law, but under grace.” This is not a command for you not to let sin have dominion. It is a statement of fact. Sin shall not have dominion. Its rule over us has been broken. It has no authority over us even though its power seems awfully strong. We are to believe that and act accordingly.

When temptation comes, even when it is a strong one, you acknowledge the fact that you have died with Christ. You claim the truth that you have been buried and raised with Him, and that this sin has no authority over you. Your heart will tell you that that’s not true, and that you must listen to the temptation and bow to it. But just as our Lord did when He was tempted, you must use scripture to claim your ground on the resurrection side.

Priority Goal 10: Moment by moment I will reckon and consider and claim the fact that I died with Christ, and I am on resurrection ground, and therefore sin does not have any authority or power over me no matter how strong it feels.

Ephesians 5:21

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“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians

Ephesians 5:21

Verse 21 is a continuation of the same sentence that began in verse 18, and follows after the filling of the Spirit, making melody in our hearts, and giving thanks always. This verse is going to lead us into a discussion of relationships between husband and wife beginning in verse 22.

Verse 21 says, “submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.” The Greek word for reverence is phobos from which we get our word “phobia,” fear.

A spirit-filled life results in a reverential fear of Christ the Messiah. We respect and love Christ because He is God, and because He gave Himself for us on the cross in order to redeem us.

So, in this passage, what does that fear of Christ produce in our lives? It causes us to submit to one another.

Submitting is not an easy thing for us. Human pride and our me-first attitude drive much of what we do and say. We want to do what we want. We want others to do what we want them to do, and we don’t like to take orders from anyone, especially someone who we perceive as not really having any authority over us.

As Christians, we are to esteem others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). This is extremely difficult, and then, when you bring it into the family, and especially husband-wife relationships, it can be a tough thing. However, this is exactly the kind of godly characteristic that the Spirit of God is desiring to work into our lives as we yield to Him and are controlled by Him in our daily walk.

Next time we’ll tackle verse 22 which begins to explain how submission should work in more particular ways.

Exported from Logos Bible Software, 10:53 AM September 24, 2021.

Battle Plan – Strategy 9 – Flee!

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(The list of these strategies in chart form can be found here.)

Strategy 9: I’m prepared to flee if necessary; to remove whatever sources of temptation may be a stumbling block to me.

 Paul writes to Timothy, “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22, NKJV)

The key word here is run. We normally have an instinct to run from danger. Why don’t we flee the lusts and temptations that are at war against us? I think it’s probably because we don’t realize or believe the danger that God warns us about in His word.

Paul told the Galatians, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.” (Galatians 6:7–8, NKJV)

I heard a message by Charles Stanley who said that we reap what we sow, later than we sow, and more than we sow. Somehow, I don’t think we believe this is true, otherwise we would be running away from our temptations the way Joseph did in Genesis 39.

I think a big part of our problem when it comes to our hesitance to run is simply a matter of unbelief. We don’t believe God’s warnings of the corruption and death that are inherent in our practice of sinning. Paul warned the Galatians in the passage above that if we sow to the flesh, we will reap corruption. Nobody wants to reap corruption, but we don’t believe it will happen with us because we are “saved.”  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this passage from Romans: “For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Romans 8:13, NKJV)

This is written to believers, but there is the threat of death in it. Living according to the flesh, following its desires and lusts, results in death. He may not be referring to eternal death, here, but certainly we bring corruption, rotting, into our lives and hearts somehow by not fleeing. Is this really what we want?

Think about it!

Priority Goal 9: Today I will turn around and run away when confronted with the strong lusts of the flesh. I will retreat to the Word of God, prayer, and other believers who will be able to help me flee.

Ephesians 5:20

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“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,”

Having told us to be filled with the Spirit and speak to one another in psalms and hymns, Paul adds an admonition about giving thanks.

A person who is filled with the Spirit will not only have a melody in his heart, but will have a thankful spirit. Notice in this verse that we should give thanks always and for everything.

We should be thankful people always. Now that is a difficult assignment! Not only are we to give thanks always, but we are to be thankful for everything.

We know we should be giving thanks in every circumstance, but for everything?

In Romans 8:28, God tells us that He is working all things together for our good. This tells me that no matter how difficult the circumstances, God is going to use it for good in my life. This, in turn, means that I should be able to give thanks for that situation since I know that it will produce a good result in me.

Now, I’m not saying this is easy. Of course it isn’t! But it is the kind of response that godliness requires.

I think the fact that we fail so often at this should remind us once again of the grace of God toward us in that God has forgiven all the sins of His people.

Our thanksgiving should be directed toward God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. When we are thankful to God, we are thankful in Jesus name. In other words we come to God with thanksgiving just as Jesus would. Our identity with Jesus is so complete that as we come to God, we come in the rights and authority that Jesus has. This is good news indeed because we know our thanksgiving will be received with joy by the Father.

Battle Plan – Strategy 8 – Make No Provision for the Flesh

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(The list of these strategies in chart form can be found here.)

Strategy 8: I am not making any provision for the flesh. I do not make arrangements of time or place to permit sin to gain a foothold.

 One would think that this would be the easiest strategy to implement, but unfortunately, it is one of the hardest because in all reality, we love our sin too much. So often we have a divided heart. We need to say with David, “Unite my heart to fear Your name” (Psalm 86:11).

Paul writes the following to the Christians at Rome, “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” (Romans 13:13–14, NKJV)

There are lusts which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11), and these should be avoided because of the destruction they cause within our very person. One of the steps in overcoming these lusts is to avoid making provision for them. When we speak of making provision for something we are talking about making arrangements so that all that is needed will be provided. When a man makes provision for his family so that they will be cared for if he should die, that means he has made financial arrangements for a regular income. He has annotated procedures for handling the paying of bills and maintenance issues around the house. He has labeled important folders and documents so that his family will know where things can be found without a lot of additional hassle.

When we make provision for the lusts of the flesh, we do the same thing. We make sure we know how to locate whatever it is that triggers our lusts. We know where to look in our mind. We know where to look on our computers. We know who to hang around with that will provide the stimulus we “need” to fulfill our lusts. Sometimes these arrangements are so subtle that we hardly realize that we are doing it.

The author of the book of Hebrews writes, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12, NKJV)

Here we can see that the Word of God is able to help us discern between the thoughts and intents of the heart. Sometimes our heart can plan an innocuous trip to the shopping mall, but the deeper intent of our heart is to search out something — book, magazine, car showroom, theatre – that will strengthen our fleshly lusts. Our conscious mind almost convinces us that the obvious purpose – shopping for our wife for Christmas – is the real reason, when in reality there is a more sinful, devious purpose that we almost don’t see ourselves. Regular reading and meditation on the Word of God will make us more sensitive to those real motives and will encourage the repentance and victory that we desperately need.

As a teenager I was encouraged to write the following sentence in the front of my Bible: This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book.  Haven’t you found this to be true in your own experience? When we avoid the Bible, our sensitivity and discernment go down. The Scriptures are able to help us discern the thoughts and intents of the heart. The more we know the Word of God, the more aware we are when our own motives are not really what they seem.

Priority Goal 8: Today I will make no arrangements for the flesh. I will make it as difficult as possible for the flesh to find and use its lusts against me.